The Power to Choose: 9 Principles to Drastically Improve Your Emotional Intelligence

As a survivor of a Nazi concentration camp, Viktor Frankl learned in the darkest of places the power of controlling our response. His seminal work "Man's Search for Meaning" explored finding purpose amidst suffering and left a great legacy in the study of Emotional Intelligence.

Imagine this: You live in Germany, 1942. As Hitler's regime takes its stranglehold, you and your loved ones are thrown into a dehumanizing camp where your new life is cut off by barbed wire and armed guards. Stripped of all dignity and robbed of life's basic comforts, suffering becomes your new normal. This is the backdrop for Victor Frankl’s power and transformative quote:

"Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom."

His powerful message serves as a guiding light for those looking to enhance their emotional intelligence and become better leaders, spouses, parents, and overall humans.

Today I will share 9 principles to fill the space between stimulus and response to help improve your Emotional Intelligence…Let’s get started!

1. Pause and Reflect: In the hustle and bustle of life, we often react instinctively. Instead, pause when confronted with a situation. Take a moment to reflect on your feelings, thoughts, and the impact your response might have on others.

2. Empathize Wholeheartedly: Genuine empathy begins with actively listening to others. Put yourself in their shoes and seek to understand their perspective without judgment. Your ability to empathize is a cornerstone of emotional intelligence.

3. Choose Words Wisely: Words carry tremendous power. Go for words that uplift, inspire, and support, both in your personal and professional interactions. Remember, your words can leave a lasting impact on those you communicate with.

4. Lead by Example: Aspiring to be a better leader? Exhibit the qualities you wish to see in your team. Demonstrate kindness, humility, and a growth mindset. People are more likely to follow leaders who embody these traits.

5. Practice Mindfulness: Cultivate daily mindfulness practice. This can help you become more aware of your emotions and responses. Mindfulness creates the space Frankl spoke of, allowing you to choose your reactions consciously.

6. Nurture Relationships: Relationships thrive when built on trust and support. Offer a listening ear, a helping hand, and unwavering encouragement to those you care about. Your support can be a beacon of hope in their lives.

7. Forgive and Let Go: Holding onto grudges and resentment only hinders your personal growth. Practice forgiveness, not just for others but for yourself as well. It's a powerful step towards emotional liberation.

8. Learn Continuously: Emotional intelligence is not static; it evolves with self-awareness and learning. Read books, attend workshops, and seek guidance to continually develop your emotional intelligence.

9. Celebrate Others' Success: As you grow in emotional intelligence, celebrate the achievements of those around you. Be genuinely happy for their accomplishments, and your relationships will flourish.

Weekly Growth Tip: This week, commit to pausing and reflecting before responding to any situation. Whether it's a work-related email, a family dispute, or a social interaction, take a moment to consider your response. This practice alone can initiate a profound transformation in your emotional intelligence journey.

Viktor Frankl's wisdom reminds us that our responses hold the power to shape our lives and the lives of those around us. By nurturing qualities of hope, love, kindness, empathy, and support, we become better human beings. Challenge your limits!